The Pearlmans

When the Bal Shem Tov journeyed from shtetl to shtetl in eastern Europe, he was usually accompanied by a before, during and after mystical story. His disciples must have inherited that same predisposition from him — when a Traveling Chassid travels, extraordinary stories are always unfolding along the way.

The current episode began with an invitation extended to the Traveling Chassidim group for a Shabbaton in Staten Island, NY. The trek from Suffern to Staten Island is not that great a distance on the GPS, but culturally they are worlds apart. So, as faithful Chassidim would do, they packed their bags, shtreimels and all, and off they went.

Friday night dinner at a Shabbaton is usually a communal event. To maximize the effectiveness of the visit, the community organizer tries to seat all guests amongst members of the host community.

Charisma doesn’t hurt when you’re trying to connect with strangers. Neither does friendly, outgoing, humorous, pleasant, or personable. The Rabbi Chossid possessed all those innate traits and more. So, it really didn’t matter much to him whom he would meet.

As destiny would have it, the Rabbi was assigned to a table with Randy and Michelle and their two children. Randy was much more reserved and a lot less talkative than him. Initially, the arranger didn’t think that the two would be a good fit for each other.

At the Shabbos morning meal, the crowd is much smaller — only a few families get together in individual homes. The Rabbi was invited by his host; however, he had one request: to invite another couple from the community as well. It should have come as no surprise to him when Randy, his wife and two kids showed up. In this smaller, more intimate setting, Randy warmed up to the Rabbi and had a nice long conversation with him over the Shabbos meal. Afterward, they exchanged numbers and promised each other they would keep in touch.

The Rabbi was under the impression that he had really connected and bonded with him, and kept trying to call and text Randy, but the latter wasn’t responsive at all.

A year later, the Traveling Chassidim were invited back to the same community in Staten Island. Before arriving, the Rabbi got a call from Randy, who profusely apologized for ignoring him, saying he would love to reconnect again, given the opportunity.

This time a mutually rewarding partnership developed between them, and they started learning together consistently.

One day, Randy told the Rabbi that he would like to start keeping Shabbos and asked for instructions on how to start. The Rabbi outlined the steps Randy needed to take to welcome the gift of the Shabbos Queen into his home: clear the table completely, cover it with a sparkling clean white tablecloth, place two fresh homemade challahs on the table, make sure all family members are freshly showered and dressed in their nicest clothing, and light tall candles in proper candlesticks.

To help Randy create an irresistible ambience he would want to recreate each week, the Rabbi sarcastically suggested: “Authentic orthodox tradition dictates that the challahs must be baked at home on Friday and the candles must be tall and placed on the table — no tealights on the windowsill.”

Randy followed the steps as prescribed, and the aura of this beautiful, serene, deliciously smelling atmosphere of his home that Friday night was something he didn’t want to give up the next Friday night, or the one after that. And that is how Randy and his family became full-fledged Shomrei Shabbos.

The following year, Randy called the Rabbi to invite him to his home for the annual community Shabbaton event. Randy understood that for this arrangement to be feasible, he would have to make his kitchen kosher. He was ready for that commitment, and the Rabbi went down to his home to help him make all his kitchen utensils and gadgets kosher.

On the following Shabbos, the Rabbi and his wife happily joined Randy as guests in his home. The Rabbi’s wife, dressed in her finest, covered her eyes as she said the blessing over the tealights that she lit on Randy’s windowsill.